A few weeks ago we took a pilgrimage to MECA … that is, the Maine College of Art. It’s located in Portland, Maine … an absolutely wonderful city, about an hour and 10 minutes from The Lodge. Our daughter Zia (who’s almost 18) is an artist, and she was the reason we were there. It was Dana’s and my first time, but Zia had been there twice before and thought it would be a good fit as the next piece in her educational puzzle. My husband had arranged for us to get a tour of the school and dorms, as well as a personal portfolio review of her work by the Admissions Department. Our impressions of everything there were wonderful.
As parents of teenagers and a couple of ‘twenty-something’ young men, I have found it to be good parental advice to ‘pick our battles carefully’. Fortunately for us, disagreements with our children have been extremely rare and infrequent, though very occasionally we do have differences of opinion. Our boys have all been relatively easy from the get-go; but raising a daughter is a much more complicated endeavor. As an artist, Zia naturally steps to the beat of a different drummer, and the artistic temperament you hear so much about is very real. Most definitely she has different circadian rhythms than the rest of us, up all night and sleeping during the day since long before she was born. I think that turning 18 is an especially tough time of self-discovery; I know it was for me. Don’t get me wrong; Zia is one of the loveliest women I have ever met: beautiful, intelligent, articulate, creative. I am very much in awe of many of her talents. But exploring one’s life options and re-defining oneself as an autonomous adult as opposed to a homeschooled child is hard work, and sometimes it gets a bit bumpy. Recently, as part of that redefinition process, she legally changed her name to that of her paternal grandmother’s, ‘Alida’ (a positively lovely name to be sure, but hard to get used to after 18 years of not calling her that). Then came the cutting and dyeing of her long blonde hair (now short and VERY DARK!!!!), the black nail polish, and yes, the pierced stud in her ear and the appeal of Vampires….
As we headed out the door that week for the interview, my first- impression glance in her direction created, I admit, somewhat of a gasp from my lips. Fortunately I only thought - not said- the words: “What? You’re going THERE like THAT?” I thought them very LOUDLY, though, and my husband noticed, casting me the tiniest little glint of a smile for my self-control! Whatever I might have been thinking inside my head, outwardly I played it cool; so I guess I’ve been growing up, too. I will defend to the end our constitutional freedom of self-expression, even if that ‘expression’ is somehow part of my daughter’s head. But despite some individualized outward appearances, Zia is very much a woman of substance and amazing in so many ways, that I really do need to choose my battles and understand what’s important and what is not. Hair color fades, nail polish wears off, earrings come out, (or not, as the case may be), but what remains underneath is a special person whose honor, integrity, character and happiness are all that really matters in the end. And, after all, we were going to visit an art school for goodness sake! As it turned out, she looked right at home there; it was we, her parents, who were obviously out of place!
As parents of teenagers and a couple of ‘twenty-something’ young men, I have found it to be good parental advice to ‘pick our battles carefully’. Fortunately for us, disagreements with our children have been extremely rare and infrequent, though very occasionally we do have differences of opinion. Our boys have all been relatively easy from the get-go; but raising a daughter is a much more complicated endeavor. As an artist, Zia naturally steps to the beat of a different drummer, and the artistic temperament you hear so much about is very real. Most definitely she has different circadian rhythms than the rest of us, up all night and sleeping during the day since long before she was born. I think that turning 18 is an especially tough time of self-discovery; I know it was for me. Don’t get me wrong; Zia is one of the loveliest women I have ever met: beautiful, intelligent, articulate, creative. I am very much in awe of many of her talents. But exploring one’s life options and re-defining oneself as an autonomous adult as opposed to a homeschooled child is hard work, and sometimes it gets a bit bumpy. Recently, as part of that redefinition process, she legally changed her name to that of her paternal grandmother’s, ‘Alida’ (a positively lovely name to be sure, but hard to get used to after 18 years of not calling her that). Then came the cutting and dyeing of her long blonde hair (now short and VERY DARK!!!!), the black nail polish, and yes, the pierced stud in her ear and the appeal of Vampires….
As we headed out the door that week for the interview, my first- impression glance in her direction created, I admit, somewhat of a gasp from my lips. Fortunately I only thought - not said- the words: “What? You’re going THERE like THAT?” I thought them very LOUDLY, though, and my husband noticed, casting me the tiniest little glint of a smile for my self-control! Whatever I might have been thinking inside my head, outwardly I played it cool; so I guess I’ve been growing up, too. I will defend to the end our constitutional freedom of self-expression, even if that ‘expression’ is somehow part of my daughter’s head. But despite some individualized outward appearances, Zia is very much a woman of substance and amazing in so many ways, that I really do need to choose my battles and understand what’s important and what is not. Hair color fades, nail polish wears off, earrings come out, (or not, as the case may be), but what remains underneath is a special person whose honor, integrity, character and happiness are all that really matters in the end. And, after all, we were going to visit an art school for goodness sake! As it turned out, she looked right at home there; it was we, her parents, who were obviously out of place!
If you’ve never been to Portland, you’ve really gotta go check it out! What a fabulous city! The closest I had been to it in the last 5 ½ years was the International Airport and the crummy old Super 8, and believe me, they don’t count! There is a lot of culture in Portland. It offers more than 2,000 art events each year, more than half of which are free. Portland recently ranked 4th among the “10 most perfect places to live in America”, and I can see why. It offers all the cultural and entertainment amenities of any metropolitan area but on a much more livable scale. It has a vibrant arts district and a traditional working waterfront, all balanced with the ease and friendliness of a small town … and it is VERY clean! We strolled the cobblestone streets and explored a few galleries, shops and historic landmarks. While Zia was at her interview, Dana and I and discovered Longfellow’s house just a block away; a charming and aptly poetic brick building built in the 1700’s. The museum shop next door was to die for … I wanted absolutely EVERYTHING in it, but seeing how we might soon be spending $50,000 a year on art school tuition, with no earthly way to pay for it at the moment, I bought nothing but a $1 button which said, “Well behaved women seldom make history”. My husband chose not to notice. He did notice, however, when I tried on an enchanting little hat in the shop up the street, that was SO totally me I absolutely HAD to have it, until we both noticed a price tag of $225. Oops … it was not THAT me, I’m afraid!
There are about a zillion restaurants in Portland; it was just teeming with them. We eventually got hungry and ate at a nice little Thai place across from the school. There is even a Whole Foods grocery store in Portland, which is so amazing it’s overwhelming. I discovered that this city was named one of the country’s top 25 art destinations by American Style magazine. What a great place to have an art college! It supports a vibrant community of visual and performing artists plus a changing array of exhibits, festivals, concerts and museums. Of much less interest to the mother of an 18 year old daughter was the vibrant night life and live music scene they boast about in the Old Port; but the city does have its own professional baseball and hockey teams, and the stadiums are just down the block!
Before we left the Maine College of Art, we discovered that the school offers a one-month Pre-College summer program, and we went home and promptly applied for it. This 4-week session of ‘college-before-college’ would give Zia the chance to experience the school, dorm, college life, professors and courses prior to 4-year acceptance, receive 4 college credits for her efforts, as well as an automatic $1200 credit toward each of her four years. Good deal! We all thought it a wonderful opportunity. Today we were notified that she has been accepted to attend starting mid-June! Although I was happy to come back home to my little town of Jackson the evening of our visit, I have to admit that this country gal was surprisingly impressed with the ‘big’ city. What an exciting opportunity awaits our daughter! Our Pilgrimage to MECA turned out to be a very spiritual one, at that!
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